But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize