You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
