In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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