Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
