just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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