Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
