do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Randomize
