you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize