I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize