i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
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