I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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