R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
