I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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