just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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