The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
