it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
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I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
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He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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