My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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