I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Randomize
