i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
