she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.