I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
