Texts From Last Night

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  (734): View more from Michigan

  Pregnant stripper...not hot.

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  (734): Pregnant stripper...not hot. http://tfl.nu/9fe2
  Replies (20) Good night (746) Bad night (1674)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday

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  (248): I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday http://tfl.nu/yta3
  Replies (83) Good night (1504) Bad night (10255)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.

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  (208): I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid. http://tfl.nu/h0xq
  Replies (11) Good night (863) Bad night (2532)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.

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  (507): So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game. http://tfl.nu/nypl
  Replies (58) Good night (847) Bad night (3906)
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  (806): View more from Texas

  I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.

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  (806): I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes. http://tfl.nu/owra
  Replies (25) Good night (690) Bad night (3582)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.

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  (401): I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family. http://tfl.nu/wak4
  Replies (31) Good night (5116) Bad night (2113)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward

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  (775): she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward http://tfl.nu/zi7g
  Replies (10) Good night (5969) Bad night (1442)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex

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  (256): FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex http://tfl.nu/6kmk
  Replies (23) Good night (1375) Bad night (5890)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms

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  (412): I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms http://tfl.nu/sbef
  Replies (18) Good night (3947) Bad night (1298)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea

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  (613): Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea http://tfl.nu/b2wl
  Replies (6) Good night (505) Bad night (874)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Twice...

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  (404): Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it? (717): Twice... http://tfl.nu/e2vh
  Replies (7) Good night (1521) Bad night (529)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god

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  (781): Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god http://tfl.nu/k2hb
  Replies (7) Good night (1668) Bad night (650)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.

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  (401): You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe. http://tfl.nu/pz97
  Replies (0) Good night (653) Bad night (357)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color

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  (678): So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color http://tfl.nu/9bip
  Replies (0) Good night (821) Bad night (353)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  That is romantic

  (1-309): View more from Illinois

  Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care

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  (309): That is romantic (1-309): Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care http://tfl.nu/p5uo
  Replies (0) Good night (456) Bad night (285)

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