Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(732): View more from New Jersey

she woke up with a sticky ear

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(402): View more from Nebraska

I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.

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(630): View more from Illinois

True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen

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(630): View more from Illinois

Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?

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23 Annoying things Girls Do When They’re Trying To Be Cute
Read it at the TFLN blog
(217): View more from Illinois

I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?

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(612): View more from Minnesota

I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.

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(631): View more from New York

Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?

(516): View more from New York

lol... you weighed it?

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(708): View more from Illinois

that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..

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(716): View more from New York

In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??

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