we have pet lesbian snakes
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house