Texts From Last Night

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  (757): View more from Virginia

  Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!

  (734): View more from Michigan

  I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.

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  (757): Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet! (734): I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet. http://tfl.nu/0xwp
  Replies (10) Good night (2070) Bad night (625)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha

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  (202): I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha http://tfl.nu/h2dn
  Replies (5) Good night (735) Bad night (4818)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?

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  (225): he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel? http://tfl.nu/f7r7
  Replies (40) Good night (1183) Bad night (3291)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?

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  (818): dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone? http://tfl.nu/1prq
  Replies (10) Good night (616) Bad night (3600)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race

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  (207): she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race http://tfl.nu/f3bd
  Replies (17) Good night (615) Bad night (3389)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.

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  (732): Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest. http://tfl.nu/jp7b
  Replies (36) Good night (6359) Bad night (2434)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?

  (1-734): View more from Michigan

  How did the beer even get there in the first place?

  (734): View more from Michigan

  That's not what's important right now

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  (734): Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina? (1-734): How did the beer even get there in the first place? (734): That's not what's important right now http://tfl.nu/17l2
  Replies (30) Good night (3048) Bad night (3912)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.

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  (402): On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms. http://tfl.nu/59ye
  Replies (35) Good night (8464) Bad night (1251)
• Favorite

  (337): View more from Louisiana

  Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.

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  (337): Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one. http://tfl.nu/xgt0
  Replies (1) Good night (1082) Bad night (548)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?

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  (607): He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official? http://tfl.nu/vpzn
  Replies (6) Good night (1174) Bad night (539)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!

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  (804): Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body! http://tfl.nu/7w2d
  Replies (4) Good night (1161) Bad night (590)
• Favorite

  (469): View more from Texas

  I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.

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  (469): I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess. http://tfl.nu/eyc8
  Replies (3) Good night (1046) Bad night (471)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.

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  (401): I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE. http://tfl.nu/jvh7
  Replies (8) Good night (572) Bad night (1609)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.

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  (206): As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light. http://tfl.nu/6mx3
  Replies (10) Good night (2607) Bad night (394)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies

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  (908): holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies http://tfl.nu/b1bo
  Replies (0) Good night (219) Bad night (334)

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