Texts From Last Night

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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick

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  (973): oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick http://tfl.nu/qy0n
  Replies (21) Good night (1789) Bad night (510)
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  (909): View more from California

  if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids

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  (909): if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids http://tfl.nu/et14
  Replies (18) Good night (1572) Bad night (3923)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)

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  (815): So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:) http://tfl.nu/dc1v
  Replies (6) Good night (4894) Bad night (1007)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.

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  (702): think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010. http://tfl.nu/zikd
  Replies (17) Good night (667) Bad night (3314)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.

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  (413): Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking. http://tfl.nu/aegx
  Replies (11) Good night (978) Bad night (2618)
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  (315): View more from New York

  I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"

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  (315): I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy" http://tfl.nu/ekfn
  Replies (9) Good night (1439) Bad night (3909)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.

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  (720): i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out. http://tfl.nu/xm4r
  Replies (13) Good night (3765) Bad night (1293)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.

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  (417): Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road. http://tfl.nu/ry0e
  Replies (7) Good night (3146) Bad night (1161)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.

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  (630): don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class. http://tfl.nu/vso9
  Replies (8) Good night (1465) Bad night (3958)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?

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  (847): Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off? http://tfl.nu/erc6
  Replies (12) Good night (2594) Bad night (949)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.

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  (603): Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom. http://tfl.nu/yblg
  Replies (10) Good night (2471) Bad night (613)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron

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  (509): i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron http://tfl.nu/ihph
  Replies (15) Good night (1845) Bad night (1000)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.

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  (651): This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too. http://tfl.nu/gsqe
  Replies (4) Good night (991) Bad night (550)
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  (631): View more from New York

  when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.

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  (631): when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro. http://tfl.nu/xp1k
  Replies (4) Good night (1455) Bad night (438)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class

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  (814): I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class http://tfl.nu/2lhx
  Replies (7) Good night (1036) Bad night (379)

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