I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic