Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I can be that talented

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  (805 ): Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters (303): I can be that talented http://tfl.nu/rub2
  Replies (35) Good night (6315) Bad night (506)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.

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  (615): my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap. http://tfl.nu/2c94
  Replies (27) Good night (4253) Bad night (763)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.

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  (405): I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes. http://tfl.nu/im6u
  Replies (43) Good night (4585) Bad night (786)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  Why is there a cactus in the microwave?

  (1-217): View more from Illinois

  Don't worry about it.

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  (217): Why is there a cactus in the microwave? (1-217): Don't worry about it. http://tfl.nu/f5vn
  Replies (25) Good night (10718) Bad night (900)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked

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  (703): I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked http://tfl.nu/pe02
  Replies (4) Good night (913) Bad night (715)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.

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  (612): Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me. http://tfl.nu/0mf7
  Replies (6) Good night (1601) Bad night (762)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead

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  (630): I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead http://tfl.nu/lnf3
  Replies (8) Good night (2513) Bad night (468)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.

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  (513): He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet. http://tfl.nu/9hfz
  Replies (3) Good night (571) Bad night (732)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement

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  (503): You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement http://tfl.nu/tqdd
  Replies (2) Good night (470) Bad night (786)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.

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  (217): I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound. http://tfl.nu/nj12
  Replies (5) Good night (403) Bad night (860)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.

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  (541): I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night. http://tfl.nu/uir8
  Replies (2) Good night (630) Bad night (356)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.

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  (954): Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat. http://tfl.nu/msv0
  Replies (10) Good night (1174) Bad night (266)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.

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  (717): Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much. http://tfl.nu/y3yp
  Replies (3) Good night (724) Bad night (268)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt

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  (317): If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt http://tfl.nu/getw
  Replies (3) Good night (231) Bad night (430)
• Favorite

  (909): View more from California

  I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him

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  (909): I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him http://tfl.nu/7k0m
  Replies (0) Good night (285) Bad night (153)

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