why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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