Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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