If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
