I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
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I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
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I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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