No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
