Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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