i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
