sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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