so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Randomize
