apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Randomize
