I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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