When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
