Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I didn't notice because vodka
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
My vagina is very pro this idea
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
