Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...