Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
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I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
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If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.