Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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