You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?