Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i want to fuck
it's pretty self explanatory
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks