Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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