Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
