you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
