so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
