You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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