OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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