But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
