she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
