New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Randomize
