well most of my day revolves around power hour
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
