My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
