Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
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