I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
