Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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