so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize
