is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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