he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
