u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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