Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
