My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I need to sanitize my soul.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize