She went from zero to smokin in five shots
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Mom said you looked used
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Randomize
