I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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