If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
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