I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
the room spins SO much faster in panama
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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